A Basil Fawlty Conversation With Our Customers

As you may or may not know, we don't have table numbers in our cafe, we have a selection of animals. It's been a bit of a hit with the customers.

Today, serving a youngish couple, I gave the girl the walrus because it's kind of my favourite and he's a cute little thing. She went back to the table and the guy moved to the counter to place his order. I like to double check things to avoid misunderstanding, so I said to him, "Are you with the walrus?"

Accompanied with a nod of the head in the direction of the table his girlfriend was sitting down at. Or indeed, nodding at his actual girlfriend, depending an how you looked at it.

I was horrified because there was no guarantee that he had seen me give the girl the walrus.

Given that I couldn't unsay what I had just said, I said, "No I mean at the table with the walrus on it..."

The fuck did that mean? At the table with the walrus on it, not at it?

Fortunately my brain came to the rescue by commanding me to JUST STOP TALKING NOW!

Are you with the walrus. Nice one, Basil.